Trapt Has, Umm, Seen Better Days
Y'all remember Trapt, right? They're the rock band that released "Headstrong" back in 2002 and at 13, I decided that that song (along with the guitar riff that slams on whenever Freddy discovers that he's in the real world in Freddy vs Jason) were the height of our musical output as a species. Nowadays, though? Their main output seems to be being mad and awful on Twitter.
Sadly, rather than reply to people's posts with lyrics from "Headstrong," they seem to mostly just be dime a dozen "Haha, you SNOWFLAKE" trolls that exist to careen into your mentions if you critique our silly ass President. They also love to claim that "NO GROUP OF PEOPLE IN THE US IS BEING OPPRESSED IN THE YEAR 2020" and asking why it's wrong to call it the "Chinese virus." And there's more. So much more.
Obviously, this didn't start with the Coronavirus outbreak, but it definitely seems to have exacerbated it. Luckily, other Nu-metal bands, you also totally forgot about until right now, aren't following their example: Papa Roach is asking for movie recommendations and Drowning Pool seems to have pivoted exclusively to memes.
Arnold Schwarzeneggar Is Doing The Best PSAs
Arnold Schwarzeneggar, the mountain of muscle that we decided, for the good of mankind, would become one of the most famous actors of all time, has some really good ideas about the Coronavirus. He stated on a Twitter video "See, the important thing is you stay home because there is a curfew now. No one is allowed out, especially someone that is like 72-years-old. After you're 65, you're not allowed out of the house anymore in California. So we stay home and we eat here. Oh yes, that's yummy. There's Whiskey and there's Lulu. Lulu loves carrots. Whiskey loves carrots. I just had my little bit of vegan food. Oh yes, that was yummy, huh?"
As you can see, the first half of that is pretty solid advice, but the second half is a little bit of a departure. Well, it's because while he's filming the video, he's also feeding copious carrots to his miniature horse Whiskey and Lulu the donkey, both of which apparently eat with Arnold at the dinner table like it's Pippi Longstocking's house. I don't mean that as a diss, by the way. If a former bodybuilder that's still about the size of a refrigerator (At 71, he was dropkicked in the back during the Arnold Classic Africa event, and he reacted like someone had thrown a dishtowel at him) wants to eat vegetables with his animal pals, I say that's about the most adorable thing in the world.
He also does a lot of videos thanking doctors and nurses for their tireless efforts and also reminds us to check in on friends and family (while staying inside of course.) So thanks, T-800. I mean that.
Daniel Dockery is a writer for Cracked and a Senior Staff Writer for Crunchyroll. His Twitter is loads of fun.